Originally posted by Life Leadership member and an exemplary Leader himself Mr. Steve Leurquin.
God bless, Scott Johnson
In living out my purpose in life helping others, I meet hundreds if
not thousands of people for the first time every month. When I first began
this journey I was so self conscious that I would try to impress them
as fast as possible with the words that came out of my mouth. After
reading many books and many hours of experience, without a doubt I know
the best way to be unforgettable to someone is to become a great
The Dale Carnegie Training book: Make Yourself Unforgettable, teaches
how to make a lasting impression through class. In a world where
everyone is talking but nobody is being heard, becoming unforgettable is
as simple as becoming a good listener.
Some common mistakes when listening to others:
*Rehearsing – Thinking of what you will say and not hearing what they are saying.
*Evaluating or Prejudging.
*Truth Telling – You are fixer so you “tell them how it is” as they are telling you a stressor in their life.
*Fault Finding – Disagreeing with them for the fun of it.
*Placating – Not listing but saying things like “Really” to appear that you are listening.
*Derailing – Taking over the conversation.
Now, we are all guilty of doing each of these mistakes at some point
in our lives. The idea is to not beat yourself up about it rather know
what they are so we can identify them in the future. This would be the
defense of good listening. The offense of good listening is taking a
proactive approach and not focus just on what bad listening is, but also
focus on what good listeners do.
What good listening is:
*Make listening a conscious choice – make a decision to become a good listener.
*Put your expectations aside – Hear what they are saying and not what you think they are saying through your filter.
*Maintain eye contact
*Pay attention – focus Danielson! Don’t check out!
It is funny that when my influence was smaller, I did most of the
talking. Now I found that most places I go, I do most of the listening
and yet now I lead much larger groups of people. I find that people are
so hungry to be heard in a world that does not listen, you become a
person of class when you will truly listen to them to inspire them to
reach the the life they have always wanted to live.
Hope this helps! It has helped me immensely!